Tired and antsy

Last two nights I've been up til 3 or 4 am.  It's hurting my health because I still wake up early. This past weekend. 

Independent walk

     Today I walked from the house to the corner diner. That's about two blocks, maybe three, from the house. I did it without any nervous anxiety. However later in the day I did have to take .5 Xanax. 

     It's so HOT! and HUMID!  We went to the toy store for public AC. Here at "home" the AC isn't turned on until late afternoon. AFTER everyone has suffered! 

I'm adjusting my meds again after seeing my psych and MD. I don't go above my Rx but I try to go below the Rx; especially for Xanax. 

Team me

     Since I talked to my support team I feel much better. My ears, nose and lungs are clear; no infections. Yay! My BP was 128/75. I had my blood and urine taken for tests. When my physical comes in September my results will be in. 

     When I wet to the pool with my dependent I didn't have any major problems. I minimized my Lexapro to 20mg and took 1mg of Xanax. No problems there. I'm remembering why I got off Lexapro. Side effects affecting my heart rate. That affects my nervous system. Then if have to take a Xanax. Then I'd feel over medicated. The original intent was to find a different medication other than Lexapro that I have NOT YET taken. 

The weather sucks

     The weather this last week has been extremely humid. Yesterday it was 66% humid. Today it'll be 76% humid. Please rain! It would be better for all. Yesterday we three felt crappy. We all suffered some form of anxiety from the humidity. Mini-me refused the public pool because someone pooped in the pool twice! Friday and Monday! Lovely. My fave was the parent trying to sneak in their chicken pox child to the pool. 

Summer vacation

     This summer I have been taking my dependent relative to the park. We use sunblock, however, consequently we have still gotten tans. I am a FEW shades darker. 

     My new psychiatrist Dr. C. has returned me to my previous medication routine. I'm glad to have a new Dr. Dr. C. is younger, more focused, on time, etc...  Dr. F. had family issues that kept the dr out. 

Dependent is maturing

My dependent is maturing in various ways. D no longer asks to leave services to get a donut in the middle of a religious service. D no longer to leave services many times. D engages in prayers better than before. This last year D was te only one in class who knew all the prayers required of D's age. The teacher told me how some students had to be coaxed or helped along. D went right through the prayer without any help or stopping! That was because I remembered that when I was that Shri did not know my prayers. So I made sure D knew the prayers. Next prayer to learn children's version of a creed. 

Swimming

All week for two weeks I've been going to the municipal pool and swimming there. I make sure to take my meds before I leave. My dependent is the reason I go to the pool. The pool keeps us cool. Of course we have to watch out for the Older and Bigger kids. They do handstands. They do wrestling holds in the pool. They're horsing around and I have to keep an eye on dependent. Many times there are water collisions, just like traffic collisions. 

When I get home I am TIRED! I have exercised for 1.5 hrs. I have lost 4lbs. so far.  Yesterday I did not go to the pool. Instead, I was soo tired, I rested all day. My relation stated that I had slept close to 12 hrs. At least I had activity buddy! 

I have also gotten a nice dark tan! I'm at least 3 shades darker. 

Scarves as accessories

     Went to Dollar Tree today. I got a green and white scarf. And yes IT ONLY COST $1.09.  Once again I enjoyed trying the scarf on my head, ofer my shoulders, and around my neck, respectively. 

     Yesterday I saw two videos on accessorizing your Little Black Dress (LBD). Interesting ways to accentuate a solid color dress. I especially enjoyed the one with accentuating a dress give ways with a scarf. Of course the scarves have to be REALLY LONG. And it helps if you're thin. 

 1. As a tie. If you have a high neck cover the scarf around your neck so you only see the scarf going down the front. 

2. Over the shoulders. The classic look. 

3. As a belt. The front of the scarf can bl be adjusted for thickness. The bow goes in the back. 

4. Over the shoulders front and back. Kept in place by a belt. 

5. Bohemian. Circle scarf that can be pulled down over the shoulders when it gets cooler. 

This is found on YouTube. Screen name is:  stylerevtv. I'm not endorsing I'm just giving credit where credit is due. 

Rationing during WWII

I've been enjoying and appreciating reading and watching resources on coupon rationing during WWII. there are two favorite videos I love from England. 

1. Make Do And Mend 

2. Rationing in Britain 

I want to know about the scarves as accessories to utility dresses. I want to know exactly how this cartoon lady puts on that scarf below. 

So why am I so interested? Why not. People had to make do with what they had. You could get a new car you had to repair your current one. No babycrib? Then get two chairs and a potato sack. (See the video Make Do And Mend). Darn those socks. Forget those stockings. That's ridiculous. Ladies actually painted on tan on their legs to look like stockings! 

So I got the actual list for clothes snd sm looking at how I would have dealt with it. Good luck reading that. 

 Below you see infant, toddler clothes are not rationed. Also feminine towels were not rationed! 

Good luck reading this too. And did you know Sears took ration coupons as well by catalog?! 

Pads! Yay!

Finally can get pads. I'm hoping the 4/5 of my allotment comes in this week. My clinic car manager asked "why'd they do that?" I don't know. Planning to call and verify today. 

Today I tested the balance at the 99¢ only store. I'm ready to go. Gotta go pay rent now. 

Got the pads! The pharmacy only gives $20 cash back max. The ATM allows up to $200 w/d. Need to return tomorrow get rest for rent. 

Dpss the day after

     So yesterday the social worker didn't call me back. No surprise. I WAS surprised to see an immediate call back this morning. A message was left for me since I didn't hear it. 

     The message stated I would get my account approved some time today. It's 11:18am. It hasn't happened yet. Chances are at 5:00pm I'll get it. 

It's 4:39pm. It still hasn't arrived. Btw, nice blood stain on my shorts. 

5:25pm finally got an emergency supplement 1/5 of my allotment. At least I can get PADS FEMININE TOWELS now. And some gas. 

DPSS AGENT

It took two hours to communicate with you today. I told you I had no money and a bloody mess because I had my period and no pads. You said you'd pass it to your supervisor. You further stated you would call me within 1 1/2 hrs. And if you didn't... Not to call you back because you'd call me at the end of the day. 

Guess what. 

 1. It's been over 3 hours. 

 2. It's 15 minutes before the end of the day. 

3.  CALL ME! 

4. With a minute to 5:00pm I was not called at all. 

Scarves

I'm going through a scarf phase. It started almost a month b4 I found out a family member has cancer. The day I bought a tubular bandana from a discount store I found out three hours later about the cancer. B4 that my family and I were each trying on the scarf for fun and taking pics(2nd pic).

The first one is one I bought to practice furoshiki. The next picture shows how silly we were with the tubular bandana. I do have pictures with our faces showing but I like to keep our privacy.  

Dpss the wait

It's been three weeks. Our rent us over due. My PERIOD started. I HAD ONE PAD. It's a mess! They won't expedite unless it's rent quit notice. My period came before the notice.  Dark shorts. Form fit dark underwear. Robe on the bed. Embarrassing. My parent wasn't giving me anymore gas money. 

DPSS

     At the end of June my relation and I went to DPSS to apply for cash aid. FINALLY. R did everything to drag it along! Saying yes then staying up late and sleeping in late. I had already done EVERYTHING in my power. Now it's R's turn to sweat. 

     We got emergency cash. Then we were told that the original emergency cash given to us was given to us and the new one deleted. Fortunately it was more and our storage was paid and gas tank somewhat filled.

     The agent stated it would take up to 30 days to complete the application. Lord give me strength! And patience. R keeps telling me to call them. The agent stated when we get a rental note to send it and they'd expedite it. Gimme a break!  

     Right now I have my cycle. Last month it was the same thing. 20 pads in a bag leaves you short in a week. Last month I ran out the day before I officially finished. I made sure to wash up VERY WELL and dressed in dark bottoms. Fortunately no leaks. I'm facing the same thing right now. The first three or four days are VERY HEAVY. Last month I woke up and raced to the bathroom. I left behind a pool of blood running down my leg and a trail of blood from the bedroom to the bathroom. While I was dealing with my personal hygiene R did me the favor of cleaning up the blood trail for me. R also brought me a clean change of underwear. I'm glad this month I didn't have a pool of blood waiting to fall when I got up in the morning. HOWEVER, while at the clinic, I did have leakage. And it is embarrassing. I was wearing dark shorts and well fitted underwear. Still I leaked from the backside (butt) of my pants. Worse, I was sitting in the middle if a row. A lady sat to my left. Then her hubby came up. He just stayed there.  He didn't do what the lady in front did. First she told, then she asked the lady next to her to move over. Wow! 

When my bus was close to arriving then I gathered all my bags and left the clinic without looking back. 

Reminds me of the story I wrote about a homeless woman and her lecherous ex-boyfriend. In the story I included how she had her period and no way to get pads. 

My makeup expired

Well, my makeup has expired! All of it. It's been in my possession too long. It's caused rashes. At one point it felt burnt. That one incident, long ago, was what let me know my makeup had expired. Only thing left is the facial soap. 

How to afford groceries during a time of rapid price increases

How to feed your family for $45 a week

The Relaxed Wife (1957)

Social Acceptability (1957)

Head Covering: An Inter-Religious Discussion

Aretha Franklin - Mary, Don't You Weep [HD]

"God is trying to tell you something." - (The Color Purple)

DIY Scarf Dresses and Giveaway!

9 Different Silk Scarf Ideas

Cancer sucks! Fuck it!

Today I discovered an old neighbor has cancer. Along with that the spouse of a relative has cancer as well. My other relative had an irregular checkup and has to go in for a follow up procedure!!! That's two with cancer and one irregular. 

FUCK CANCER! Or #fcancer #cancersucks 

Books books books.

Helping at school library again. Organizing for inventory. 

Five Frankie Vallis from Jersey Boys at the 2009 Tony Awards

Five Frankie Vallis from Jersey Boys at the 2009 Tony Awards

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Live (Full Album)

Very good book. Susan Elia Macneal Molly Hope Mystery Novels

Memorial Day brunch special

My the French plate is all that! Thank you James Rhodes for posting on twitter 

Directional problems

Found this on twitter. Not mine. 

Why are fire trucks red?

Thank you James Rhodes for posting in twitter. 

Make sure you have exact change!

Thank you james Rhodes for posting this on twitter. 

Excluding family hurts

My health and activities

Sometimes I don't post because I'm going through anxiety panic attacks. The trigger is still fresh in my mind and I want to avoid another attack. This past week I decided to write a Star Trek fan-fiction about a character who suffers from anxiety due to a job related catastrophe. I thought it would be a great way to fictionalization some of my issues. Yeah well triggers abound! I have started the story five different ways. I've written notes on the character and the change in routines. Guess what... Triggers. I didn't realize it until today as I'm writing this. 

Other issues for me? I gave up my time on the iPhone but went for the xbox. Really is there a difference? I noticed gitteryness halfway through the week. I was playing Legos Star Wars for a few hours at a time. Too much stimulation! So now I'm cutting back on playing Legos Star Wars. I still play Farm Up on the PC. That I don't play for more than an hour. 

The clinic and food bank

Went to the clinic again. Went to the church again for the free food. Got 16 fresh tomatoes, a gallon of orange juice, a can of spinach, 4 cans of tomato/spaghetti sauce, 1 bag of spaghetti--wheat, 1 bag of sliced sourdough bread, 2 boxes of cereal (I gave it away since we didn't have space at the house), many cans if veggies, etc… I shared some tomatoes with two ladies at the clinic. 

At the house The Man said to me "wheat spaghetti. Why the hell you buy that?" "I didn't. They gave it to be.", I responded easily. "What the hell possessed you to take it?" He answered back. WTF. IDGAS. Or should I say IDGAFS. Don't like it? Don't eat it. Last week we ate Spaghetti with the pasta sauce I brought home. This week we ate two of the tomatoes with our KFC.  

Facebook

I'm happy to say my Facebook account has been officially deleted after 2 weeks. 

Open house yell a thon!

Unbelievable what happened at open house tonight. A parent had it out with the teacher. Ooh. Apparently many parents are unhappy with this teacher. He's got a closed door policy going. This parent had it out for close to an hour! I sat at my dependent's table partly giggling to myself and partly shaking my head.  This parent chose open house to go off on the teacher. For close to an hour as well. 

It seems many parents are complaining about the teacher. My complaint is no access after school. Others are complaining that he's cursing in class. My dependent said the bad word used was "shut up". D said the curse words I asked for were never mentioned. My relation asked as well. Does the teacher use words we tell D never to repeat. D said no. 

The word "crap" was used in explaining probability. Crap is a game of chance in Las Vegas. And those two went round and round. 

29 more days to go. I went and spoke to the teachers for next year. I already have an idea of who I want for D's teacher. This person emails and sends YouTube links for tutoring ideas. Yay! As close to Ms C as we can get. 

It's not even summer yet!

We're having a heatwave! Extreme heat is not good for the nerves. It causes anxiety and panic attacks; at least the symptoms. Sucks if here's no a/c on. 

How it works: anxiety

The principal is leaving

Just heard through the grapevine the principal will leave the establishment at the end of term. My relation was so happy to hear it. Kicked up a fuss and stood on a soap box for 10 minutes. This past week was principal day. 

A day out with the Girl Scouts

West side pavillion in Los Angeles enjoy build a bear. Then california science center break in to groups then eventually see endeavor shuttle. That makes twice my dependent will see it. Not allowed to go. Dependent not going. 8am to 6pm in the great metropolis is too Long a time at this age to be away from us. 

New week

Well, the iep meeting came and went. The family reunion Sunday came and went. Now it's all money that's the issue. 

Of the money saved up I only have $20 left, plus $3.00 left over from the fiesta this weekend. 

My relation and I need to go Together to Dpss and apply for general relief. 

Anxiety

I'm suffering anxiety right now. 10:22pm. It's been a week coming. Though it felt like two weeks. What's different. Walking a mine a day. My therapist left last week. I haven't fad my BP checked regularly as my doc requested. MY MONEY RAN OUT! Family get together this Sunday and relation is being an ass about it. Dependent's iep meeting yesterday. A lot of many different stressful things I used to just handle but now can't, apparently. 

My main symptom: faster heart rate, hyperventilation, acid indigestion line feeling, feeling of heart beat slightly pounding(like a BP issue). 

So today I took in total the following 30mg Lexapro, 1mg Xanax all my BP pills. 

Dash transportation

I have been approved for dash transportation for one year. This means I have to make an appt for transportation in advance. Only one round trip a day. They can transport me to my medical clinic because it is in the extended area outside the city. Free transportation means I can save money on gas.  I am dependent on THEIR pick up time.  

IEP Meeting

Yesterday I had an iep meeting with the officials at the establishment. My dependent does not qualify for an iep or special education. My dependent is above average in reading and spelling and average for math. 20% lower and D would've qualified for remediation in math. So D is going to tutoring for math. 

Oops. It coincides with karate. We already paid for karate. Tutoring after school followed immediately by karate. One day only. The other day no karate.  

Today I had to take 1.0mg Xanax for this meeting. Took a 20mg Lexapro as well. 

New teacher: I'm not impressed

I'm not impressed with the new teacher. Although C has a lot to deal with from the M's term C has yet to pull ahead of the chaos. My dependent is moving ahead in math, finally.  However, C gives D the wrong times table. This past week D should've gotten six. She was tested on seven. The grade sheet doesn't even post D passing five yet. See. Chaos.

 I didn't realize it at the time but the paper with all the red marks belongs to my dependent. Two students came up and told me by showing me the paper.  

Sent a nice impartial email to the teacher. Awaiting C's reply. 2:24pm. Btw C always closes and locks the doors after class. Never stays long enough to speak to anyone. D was progressing nicely. Now I wonder. 

Tomorrow we have a meeting with the psych regarding the evaluation done. Actually that evaluation was simply we parents filling in the answers. Then they run it through a machine. After session ends! Guess who takes D home and guess who has the meeting! 

Walking for exercise

This week I have walked a mile a day with my dog.  It's good exercise for me and I've been able to get further out of the house without my Relation. I'm still working on my independence. I can't stand being house bound. Half of me is afraid of repeating two years ago. The other half says I've got new meds and I can avoid that again. But daily it's a struggle with that fear. 

Turn of the century living

Today we went to one of the adobe museums. We learned to churn butter, press tortillas, drink buttermilk, cut paper shapes, and make butterflies out of tissue paper. The Theme was the yellow sun. Three generations went to the museum. 

After the arts and crafts we went on the tour. My dependent and I went on the tour. D kept wanting to sit down. There were others who kept sitting where they should not have been sitting, going where they should not have gone, and using  flash in taking pictures. I tried to keep my dependent out of trouble. Only once was D chastized by the docent. D kept touching the original butter churners from the 19th century.  Two men were told they couldn't leave the group as it was a guided tour. They had joined the group by accident. Within the minute they left the way they came. Two minors had left the group at the same time the men were talked to. The parent DID NOT call the two back. The parent waited until the group was on the move to join us. 

We had a great time. I even started knitting a beanie cap once in the middle of an event D was doing with a group. 

Plastic canvas cross stitch

So far I've made 4 of these.     I've now made 7. With 8 done my dependent has started the 9th star. 

Standards

The whole unit got standards. 50xs each. The new authority is struggling to control the unit. It's a lost year. Period. Our dependent has 25 more to do. 

Calling dr f. Where are you?

It's hard to know which clinic dr f is at during the week. I only know dr f is at my clinic on Fridays ONLY.   The pharmacy has been trying to reach F Because the quantity was not written on the Rx tablet, AGAIN. so the past week it's been a game of trying to locate dr f. I just called my clinic. the secretary went home for the day at both places. My case manager is now tying to contact dr f.  

I QUIT Facebook today!!! Yay!!! Oi!, the withdrawal

It took a few days but I quit Facebook today. I closed out my groups. I passed a group to another person. I deleted a lot of pictures and likes, unfriended a lot of friends, and said my good byes. It was like going through a twelve step process with Alcoholics Anonymous. Facebook Anonymous. That's what it should be called. 

There was a lot of crap happening on FB and I got tired of the crap. Sexual predators, sexual role players, cliques, bullying, etc... It was too much. 

As I was going through the process I could feel myself getting riled up. Many people asked me why I was leaving and I had to repeat myself. I tried to post on groups and explain why to limit the amount of times I repeated myself. Today I posted the last good byes. I closed out my scouting troop. Then I posted a please exit the premises by 2:00pm in my Sherlock group. As peoples started saying their good byes the group got a reprieve. A fb friend took over the group. I'm glad. I had asked in all my groups if anyone wanted to take over. No one stepped up. This person did at the last minute. 

The whole process has left me stressed. I don't doubt my BP is slightly elevated. It'll get better soon. I wanted to be done with fb by tomorrow. 

I still have other social media so I not back to late 20th century standards. 

Medication taken today: .5mg Xanax 20mg Lexapro 240mg(?) Verapamil ER, and my statin. I took all my Rx today. 

Family has insurance again

My family has insurance again. Finally. My relation was able to pick up prescriptions. R can have bloodwork done again. 

Happy Easter Happy Passover

I made it to Easter mass for the first time in YEARS. I was dressed out of my comfort zone. I had my dependent with me. We sat in the crying zone. 

My insurance is back

No thanks to bottleneck Obama, my insurance is back on again. My relation's insurance returned one week after mine. Our dependent's never stopped. Obama bottle necked unemployment and health insurance! "It's not my fault." He cries. He's not responsible.  Mr. President you are responsible. 

Tension headache

I've been dealing with this tension since 3.31.14!!  I hate it. I'm waiting for the paperwork to come to me to fill out and send back to Dpss. I only have so much Rx on me before I run out. I'm lucky I have Lexapro stocked up along with the TERRIBLE regular release verapamil BP!  The verapamil! I should've taken the one month supply instead of the two week supply to get it out of the way. NEVER AGAIN. Always go full month until you have to go halfsies. 

I only have two weeks of verapamil! Crap! The Xanax I got a full supply. 

I must take water throughout the day to be sure I pee out any high BP thanks to the hydroclorothiazide. Did that make sense?  It's a water pill. 

Obamacare paperwork update

25 minutes on the line to straighten out the nightmare.  It's a bottleneck situation. Paperwork is being sent out to me today so that I may fill it out and send it off to them. At least the clinic can give me my BP pills. 

The clique

I quit the clique known as the PTA. I watched my comments and pictures being deleted within minutes to days after posting. Gee, why? Cuz I spoke out? Cuz you aren't perfect? I'm not the only parent to complain biotches. I'm tired of the establishment and refuse to help them any further. I turned in the newspapers but kept the rope. The rope was and is too good for them. They'd only throw it away. 

www.loomalot.com/loom-size

Obamacare blah!

My insurance was put on hold since 3.31.2014 thanks to obamacare. I wasn't supposed to be touched, but apparently backlogged caseworkers leave you screwed! 

Screw you obamacare

Income

Must sell 23 beanie caps at $5.00 ea to pay off tuition. 

Blood pressure

Never get into controversial situations or conversations before your BP is taken.