My health and activities

Sometimes I don't post because I'm going through anxiety panic attacks. The trigger is still fresh in my mind and I want to avoid another attack. This past week I decided to write a Star Trek fan-fiction about a character who suffers from anxiety due to a job related catastrophe. I thought it would be a great way to fictionalization some of my issues. Yeah well triggers abound! I have started the story five different ways. I've written notes on the character and the change in routines. Guess what... Triggers. I didn't realize it until today as I'm writing this. 

Other issues for me? I gave up my time on the iPhone but went for the xbox. Really is there a difference? I noticed gitteryness halfway through the week. I was playing Legos Star Wars for a few hours at a time. Too much stimulation! So now I'm cutting back on playing Legos Star Wars. I still play Farm Up on the PC. That I don't play for more than an hour. 

The clinic and food bank

Went to the clinic again. Went to the church again for the free food. Got 16 fresh tomatoes, a gallon of orange juice, a can of spinach, 4 cans of tomato/spaghetti sauce, 1 bag of spaghetti--wheat, 1 bag of sliced sourdough bread, 2 boxes of cereal (I gave it away since we didn't have space at the house), many cans if veggies, etc… I shared some tomatoes with two ladies at the clinic. 

At the house The Man said to me "wheat spaghetti. Why the hell you buy that?" "I didn't. They gave it to be.", I responded easily. "What the hell possessed you to take it?" He answered back. WTF. IDGAS. Or should I say IDGAFS. Don't like it? Don't eat it. Last week we ate Spaghetti with the pasta sauce I brought home. This week we ate two of the tomatoes with our KFC.  

Facebook

I'm happy to say my Facebook account has been officially deleted after 2 weeks. 

Open house yell a thon!

Unbelievable what happened at open house tonight. A parent had it out with the teacher. Ooh. Apparently many parents are unhappy with this teacher. He's got a closed door policy going. This parent had it out for close to an hour! I sat at my dependent's table partly giggling to myself and partly shaking my head.  This parent chose open house to go off on the teacher. For close to an hour as well. 

It seems many parents are complaining about the teacher. My complaint is no access after school. Others are complaining that he's cursing in class. My dependent said the bad word used was "shut up". D said the curse words I asked for were never mentioned. My relation asked as well. Does the teacher use words we tell D never to repeat. D said no. 

The word "crap" was used in explaining probability. Crap is a game of chance in Las Vegas. And those two went round and round. 

29 more days to go. I went and spoke to the teachers for next year. I already have an idea of who I want for D's teacher. This person emails and sends YouTube links for tutoring ideas. Yay! As close to Ms C as we can get. 

It's not even summer yet!

We're having a heatwave! Extreme heat is not good for the nerves. It causes anxiety and panic attacks; at least the symptoms. Sucks if here's no a/c on. 

How it works: anxiety

The principal is leaving

Just heard through the grapevine the principal will leave the establishment at the end of term. My relation was so happy to hear it. Kicked up a fuss and stood on a soap box for 10 minutes. This past week was principal day. 

A day out with the Girl Scouts

West side pavillion in Los Angeles enjoy build a bear. Then california science center break in to groups then eventually see endeavor shuttle. That makes twice my dependent will see it. Not allowed to go. Dependent not going. 8am to 6pm in the great metropolis is too Long a time at this age to be away from us. 

New week

Well, the iep meeting came and went. The family reunion Sunday came and went. Now it's all money that's the issue. 

Of the money saved up I only have $20 left, plus $3.00 left over from the fiesta this weekend. 

My relation and I need to go Together to Dpss and apply for general relief. 

Anxiety

I'm suffering anxiety right now. 10:22pm. It's been a week coming. Though it felt like two weeks. What's different. Walking a mine a day. My therapist left last week. I haven't fad my BP checked regularly as my doc requested. MY MONEY RAN OUT! Family get together this Sunday and relation is being an ass about it. Dependent's iep meeting yesterday. A lot of many different stressful things I used to just handle but now can't, apparently. 

My main symptom: faster heart rate, hyperventilation, acid indigestion line feeling, feeling of heart beat slightly pounding(like a BP issue). 

So today I took in total the following 30mg Lexapro, 1mg Xanax all my BP pills. 

Dash transportation

I have been approved for dash transportation for one year. This means I have to make an appt for transportation in advance. Only one round trip a day. They can transport me to my medical clinic because it is in the extended area outside the city. Free transportation means I can save money on gas.  I am dependent on THEIR pick up time.  

IEP Meeting

Yesterday I had an iep meeting with the officials at the establishment. My dependent does not qualify for an iep or special education. My dependent is above average in reading and spelling and average for math. 20% lower and D would've qualified for remediation in math. So D is going to tutoring for math. 

Oops. It coincides with karate. We already paid for karate. Tutoring after school followed immediately by karate. One day only. The other day no karate.  

Today I had to take 1.0mg Xanax for this meeting. Took a 20mg Lexapro as well. 

New teacher: I'm not impressed

I'm not impressed with the new teacher. Although C has a lot to deal with from the M's term C has yet to pull ahead of the chaos. My dependent is moving ahead in math, finally.  However, C gives D the wrong times table. This past week D should've gotten six. She was tested on seven. The grade sheet doesn't even post D passing five yet. See. Chaos.

 I didn't realize it at the time but the paper with all the red marks belongs to my dependent. Two students came up and told me by showing me the paper.  

Sent a nice impartial email to the teacher. Awaiting C's reply. 2:24pm. Btw C always closes and locks the doors after class. Never stays long enough to speak to anyone. D was progressing nicely. Now I wonder. 

Tomorrow we have a meeting with the psych regarding the evaluation done. Actually that evaluation was simply we parents filling in the answers. Then they run it through a machine. After session ends! Guess who takes D home and guess who has the meeting! 

Walking for exercise

This week I have walked a mile a day with my dog.  It's good exercise for me and I've been able to get further out of the house without my Relation. I'm still working on my independence. I can't stand being house bound. Half of me is afraid of repeating two years ago. The other half says I've got new meds and I can avoid that again. But daily it's a struggle with that fear. 

Turn of the century living

Today we went to one of the adobe museums. We learned to churn butter, press tortillas, drink buttermilk, cut paper shapes, and make butterflies out of tissue paper. The Theme was the yellow sun. Three generations went to the museum. 

After the arts and crafts we went on the tour. My dependent and I went on the tour. D kept wanting to sit down. There were others who kept sitting where they should not have been sitting, going where they should not have gone, and using  flash in taking pictures. I tried to keep my dependent out of trouble. Only once was D chastized by the docent. D kept touching the original butter churners from the 19th century.  Two men were told they couldn't leave the group as it was a guided tour. They had joined the group by accident. Within the minute they left the way they came. Two minors had left the group at the same time the men were talked to. The parent DID NOT call the two back. The parent waited until the group was on the move to join us. 

We had a great time. I even started knitting a beanie cap once in the middle of an event D was doing with a group. 

Plastic canvas cross stitch

So far I've made 4 of these.     I've now made 7. With 8 done my dependent has started the 9th star. 

Standards

The whole unit got standards. 50xs each. The new authority is struggling to control the unit. It's a lost year. Period. Our dependent has 25 more to do. 

Calling dr f. Where are you?

It's hard to know which clinic dr f is at during the week. I only know dr f is at my clinic on Fridays ONLY.   The pharmacy has been trying to reach F Because the quantity was not written on the Rx tablet, AGAIN. so the past week it's been a game of trying to locate dr f. I just called my clinic. the secretary went home for the day at both places. My case manager is now tying to contact dr f.