Resting today

Today I am resting. 29 days passed. It's good that I rest. I was soo tired yesterday at the onset(...). 

Yesterday D. was able to enjoy water day at the establishment. One kiddie pool was out. A hose with running water was placed in it. Every participant was able to suction water from the pool and wet someone else. 

Later in the afternoon there was a parent/dependent party. D and I went and enjoyed our time there. Plans were made with two other families for get togethers at the park. One if the other dependents wanted to get together at the house. That's too much, instead, I counter offered the park. It was accepted. 

     I slept quite a bit today. That's what happens every 28 days. In wiped out. 

Scary news

Today I got the news my parent was in the hospital two days ago! My emotional response? I became a bit nervous and emotional. That was to be expected. I had to take my Ativan soon after the call from my other parent. 

My relation, R, stated it was expected a few more years of anxiety on my part due to the news on my parent's ER visit. 

My parent is out if the hospital. A new trial Rx had been given for a gland. My parent took on EVERY SYMPTON noted. 

I never did get the text or email from my lateral relative. Instead, I got a text about reversing diabetes.  I would've been late to a wake in this case!  

I understand wanting to protect me. I still need to be told something within the time constraints. Maybe at the end of the day tell me our parent is at home resting after having taken a medicine that lowered the blood pressure and dehydrated the body. See that. I skipped the anxiety, but was informed after the fact. Two days later with an almost accusatory call from the other parent is not the way to go. A follow up soon after the text, email, or voicemail would've been appropriate. 

FOLLOW UP

SMARTPHONES SUCK!! The iMessages was turned off. 

Body recuperating

My body is STILL RECUPERATING from the anxiety I went through this past month. Major physical symptoms of side effects. My mid-section feels tight if I sit too long at the computer. It hurts. I notice it happens after I tried to get out of bed a certain way; like crunches. I took Tylenol to alleviate the physical pain. The hyperventilation wasn't and isn't fun. I'm purposely doing deep breathing from the diaphragm. That helps. 

So two weeks ago I took Tylenol. Them I got a head/chest cold. I took coricidin _ _. I was sickest on Mother's Day. I slept 11 hours. While taking coricidin my guts didn't hurt. When I got off the medicine the pain came back. Do I have a hernia? 

First Holy Communion

This weekend my dependent took first Holy Communion. D. took a group pic with classmates. Photographer was A.'s Cam. The reception was held at a great Italian restaurant (ESM). It was expensive!  $100 above what R. thought it would be. 

During down time of preparing for pics a black cat streaked out from the rectory and ran across all of us on the church grounds. It almost crashed into me! Everyone laughed and commented on THE BLACK CAT. During pictures the wind kicked in. All the girls  looked like THE FLYING NUN! Veils were blown in front of faces, to the sides, etc...it was hysterical! Sally Field would have been so proud. 

I was nervous. D was nervous.

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 R, after two years of not participating in this religious rite, walks D. down the aisle with me. "Well, (D.) is my (child).  

 It took me a while but I finally realized what I was feeling about that. "Resentment". How dare you not lift a finger because of your beliefs, but now that the job is done you're going to walk D down the aisle with me, as if you've been taking D. to class all this time. The person I made friends with at Sunday school has/had the same issue with life partner. Never got an update from my friend, L. about the life partner's behavior and role. 

Panic

Well I had a panic attack today. A physical feeling led to a thought which led to a feeling leading to the panic attack. T-E-D. What'd I do? Wash my face and hands. Finally contact my parents...AGAIN! Made and drank tea. Went to the "outhouse" again. Felt better later. Told R how I felt and what I was doing to nip it in the bud. 

Blackmail

Told R to knock it off with emotional blackmail. Can't have things both ways. It may have worked before but not now. (Blows BIG RASPBERRY!!!)