My most ANXUZ moment so far

     Today I took it upon myself to a specific Christian denomination bookstore. It's in a town south of me. Go511 says no way to get there. Mapquest tells me it would take an hour to get there. My iPhone map tells me it's 12 minutes driving distance. Guess what I decided to do!? Because it had to be done quickly, I decided to drive to the gift shop. I did make it there, however, my anxiety was creeping up on me. It did not matter that I had take one dose (0.5mg) of Ativan before driving there. This was my second attempt. My first attempt, yesterday, I got half way there. Or rather, I got eight minutes closer to my target destination. Today I got all the way there, with anxiety, drinking water, and praying to GOD I wouldn't freak out. 

     I entered the store and interacted with the sales associate. In the end I told her I needed her prayers to help me get back home. I told her my situation with anxiety and that it was a miracle I got here. Now I need prayers to get back home. 

     I'm home now. I grounded myself by following along my gps both visual and audio. I also turned on "overdrive" app and listened to my favorite bible story. 

     Rabbit Ears has bible stories on audiobook. The story my library has available was Jonah and The Whale and Joseph and His Brothers. When I'm anxious and trying to calm down I listen to the story. Bible story is a calming influence on me. 

It's after 7:00 PM now. I'm feeling much better now. Now to help my sibling. 

But that's another entry, altogether...

107•F weather and anxiety

Remember our heatwave in Los Angeles recently? Well, here's my take on it. http://youtu.be/10XD35qqqOg

This is one of my early (recent) videos detailing my triggers, emotions and side effects of nervous disorders. 

Jury duty and anxiety

This past week I performed my Vic duty and participated in jury duty. For someone win out a nervous disorder it would be simple to just get out of the house and gob for someone with a nervous disorder plans have to be made. Here is what I did. 

Weeks in advance I planned my trip to the court house. Since my relation wouldn't take me I had to plan to take the bus. I found the app Go511 and downloaded it bits state run. There's even a phone number; 5-1-1. It replaced 1(800)COMMUTE. DONT CALL THAT NUMBER. It's out of service. Call 511. They'll help you plan a trip either by bus or private vehicle by freeway. 

I planned my meals. 

I planned my comfort bag. 

I dressed up professionally as if going to work. 

I saw this as therapy for returning to work. If. I could do this then I should be in my way to job hunting and returning to work. 

I took videos and pictures, and am making small documentaries. You can find them on the YouTube channel CaridaddelasMercedes (Caridad de las Mercedes) you can finding it on Tumblr at PASHENT😬ANXUZ (pashentanxuz). 

I had my prayer books with me. 

I had my charger with me as well. 

Thank you, Lord for keeping me safe.