Panic at home

Well, I knew it was bound to happen. A panic attack. It's been a frenetic week. I've tried to avoid the news about the Boston marathon terrorists. I watch a bit then turn it off. Yesterday the younger brother was captured and arrested. Boston citizens came out to celebrate. Boston just went through what we went through here in Los Angeles and Orange County with Christopher Dorner. Now people are rejoicing and celebrating. People have pent up energy. So do I. It had to come out one way or another.

I spent my morning loom knitting, taking care of the kiddie pool, and watching over our poor dog who yelped in pain this morning. That started my dh on a negative day today. He's continued on and off.

I ended up waking up from a nap with a panic attack that had rapid heart rate as a symptom. Dh went to get lunch and I had my panic attack. My f-i-l wasn't going to empathize very well. I called my cousin on Tango. Usually talking and playing with my cousins calms me down. It did this past week. However, today I was farther along in panic mode than usual. I ended up Having to take .5 Xanax for the o set of my panic attack. The last one I had was 5 days ago.

I'm practically starting all over again since the tonsillectomy. The week before I ended up a nervous wreck worried about the outcome. I took the Xanax the night before the surgery (I had also taken it one or two more times before the surgery as well). I knew I would need it. I was happy my parents showed up. I was glad I was not in panic mode. After the surgery, and everything had turned out alright I had pent up energy. I was very glad that the situation was over. My subconscious, however, still wanted to cling to something negative and anxiety producing. Same way my mind clung to negativity before, now it's doing the same now.