Two days left

Today I woke up and took 1/2 BP pill. Next thing I know I'm napping. Hubby wakes me up to remind me to call Doc. I called the office and left a message with my case mgrs. office partner. He will get the message to Doc to call Health Net.

I'm about to take 1/2 BP again followed by 1/4 celexa. That dose will be followed up again with the 2nd 1/4 dose.

I had minimal flushing. I think that's in part to the Xanax I took at 2:30am.

3:51pm.
I called health net to see if there was an update to the situation. Doc has yet to call the pharmacy. The customer service agent with the LONG foreign name said he called the pharmacy and they told him she had not yet responded. I will be seeing Doc today. During my appt. the time will be made to assure my authorization of Lexapro name brand.

To keep busy today I have walked my dog 3xs. I home schooled a child. I wrote more fiction for MY CRAPPY NOVEL. I haven't updated that blog yet. I always write it in a notebook first and then transfer it to the blog. I'm old school that way.

6:06pm.
I have been back home for 20 minutes now. I arrived at the clinic and a let them know at the front desk. They had me sit in the waiting area. Doc saw me as she passed by and stated she hadn't called yet. For me that's ok because thats what this appt. is for.

The previous client left. I entered and waited for Doc. She came in and did some preliminaries before getting to my health net phone call. After looking for and finding the health net pharmacy no. she calls them. It turns out there was a line she missed. All she had to do was fill it in, put URGENT at the top and fax it in. Then it will be evaluated. She apologized to me. I simply sat there and said, "that's alright, these things happen." "Yes they do", she replied.

During the phone call while on hold she asked me how soon after I run out of medication do I de-compensate. "Go crazy". I was surprised she used that old layman's term. I replied, "pretty quickly. A few days." She relayed the information to the pharmacist.

When the call was over Doc sent the paper work over to her secretary to fax it to the health net pharmacy. Upon her return I thanked her for everything and said i would now go and bother H. N. I went to the front desk and waited for the fax to be confirmed. The first one did kit take. The secretary sent it a second time. This time a confirmation was printed out by the fax machine. I waited a few minutes and called H. N. they said to call back at 8am after they've had a chance to process the faxes.

I wanted to add that the ride to the clinic and back was anxious for me.

Overnight

I woke up at 1:40am. I was having issues. I turned to writing again to sooth myself. Nothing. I turned on the rosary in my iPod. I fell back to sleep with it. Unfortunately I woke up 4 decades later with a racing heart. I was having trouble focusing on the Rx labels on the bottles. I picked up one bottle...not the right Rx. Next bottle wrong medicine. Third bottle... Oops that's the first bottle. Where is my Rx? I'm beginning to worry. My heart starts racing a bit faster. Two bottles later I find the right Rx. I read the bottle: Xanax. I open the bottle and take out a half pill.

I take .5 Xanax. My heart is racing. Soon after I return to the bedroom to try to relax again. That's why I'm blogging at 2:40 am. I had started writing a new section for my crappy novel. When I started feeling sleepy, however, I decided to lay on bed and blog instead.

Good night. 2:43am.

GOOD MORNING.

I was able to fall asleep eventually.  I slept through the night without anymore incident.

Telemarketer

I'm tired if telemarketers. Someone sold my number again and put a fake name on it. A man with a thick accent just called me to sell me health insurance. I'm not interested. I told him. Especially from an outsourced telemarketer.

3:05pm just avoided a call from another telemarketer for health insurance. (417)
Area code!

Taking my rx today

This morning I woke up at 7:30am. I got up at 8:30am and took the dog for a walk. Why did I wake up late? I'm still adjusting to the transition rx. I returned from walking the dog and made myself breakfast. So far in have taken half dose of my blood pressure pill.


It's 12:12pm. I just called my dr. She's not in today. The secretary will get back to me after her lunch. Time for plan B. where is the dr.?

12:45pm. I'm wary if taking my 1/2 dose celexa again. I'm thinking celexa then BP pill. I believe I did that before. 30 mind apart.

1:56pm.  The dr.'s secretary is back from lunch.  She stated that Doc got the paper work from Health Net and filled it out.  Then she faxed it over to health net last night. I called Health Net just now.  They did receive the paperwork.  They did not receive a prior authorization? Or did they? I couldn't understand Ben in that sentence.   But the pharmacy had questions for Doc. So it will be another 24 hours.

3:07pm. An hour ago I had a soup and took my 1/2 BP pill. 30 mins later I took 1/4 celexa. 10 mins later I took 1/4 celexa. Only minimal flushing then. Yup. Gonna have to pair it with my BP rx. It helped that I was talking to my friend E.


It's 7:50pm.  I'm feeling more flushing since 30 minutes ago.  I don't know why.  The Celexa has gone through my system by now....though it hasn't left me yet.  The Lexapro on the other hand is leaving my system and I am due for another dose.  I just took half the Lexapro dosage and will take the other half later tonight as I usually do. 

Symptoms I'm feeling.

1.  slight headache (this is new)
2. trembling fingers from anxiety (i know this is a symptom of my trigger.)
3. slight shallow breathing (i purposely take deep breaths to compensate) 
4. slight chest pain
5. light headedness

Is it time for the xanax yet? Apparently writing this down is giving me more issues as well. 

I haven't written fiction or drawn at all today.  I've been on my handheld all day. BAD Mami. Bad... I feel the half Lexapro dose working.  I just need to remember to relax.  Later tonight, when I'm better, I will blog again. 


10:55pm. I just awoke from a nap. I want to go back to sleep. I took out my new composition book and started writing fiction again. This one describes hygiene in the wilderness. I like this better. It helped calm me down too.

MY HEALTH

As I stated in my previous blog entry I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks.  I take a medication which just RECENTLY allowed a generic to be made.  Unfortunately that generic does not work for me at all.  It actually left me WORSE than my original condition had!!! I have a journal which I kept citing all the symptons, tears, agonies, heartaches, etc. that I went through since that medication went generic last year. 

Lexapro generic IS NOT Lexapro NAMEBRAND.  Right now I'm fighting to get back my right to have LEXAPRO NAMEBRAND.  I only have enough medication until Friday.  Friday night if this situation is not fixed by then I will have taken my last pill that night.  The next night I will have to take Celexa generic.  Yes I know about transitioning medications.  I'm already doing it.  Celexa SUCKS! just as well.

This afternoon I took half dose of Celexa.  It left me VERY FLUSHED. I didn't feel better until I had a bowel movement.  I am taking to heart what my dear younger sister said to me tonight.  $150 is a worthwhile investment in myself for the namebrand medication. 

When I started this nightmare last year...NIGHTMARE!!!

When I started my nightmare through mental health last year I went through SEVERE SYMPTOMS.

1. FLUSHING
2. HEART PALPITATIONS
3. SUPER TACHY HEART RACING
4. TIGHTNESS OF CHEST
5. DIZZINESS
6. LIGHTHEADEDNESS
7. FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM
8. EMOTIONAL IMBALANCE

I found myself not wanting to die but wishing for death just the same for all the PHYSICAL AILMENTS placed upon me by the generic lexapro!  I am still recuperating from those physical symptoms.  Now I have to deal with a countdown.

So, here goes.  As of today I have until Friday night to get my prescription in order with medi-cal and health net. I have four more pills left.

MY CRAPPY NOVEL : DAY ONE WTF!!!

MY CRAPPY NOVEL : DAY ONE WTF!!!:      I was in town, minding my own business when the big thumb of the government was pressed down on  me! :( :) :( .  It was the coldest d...
i'm writing this crapy novel as therapy for my condition. 






i started writing it in a comp book which i paid 50cents for at dollar tree. now i'm editing it and posting. 

When I started writing the first entry into the composition notebook I started having low grade anxiety. How come?  Well, first I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks.  Second, when I started writing the scenario out I actually was processingt the situation.  So my brain started processing a make believe scenario that requires a fight or flight reaction.  There was no REAL situation, I got stuck with the flight reaction.  I actually cut my intro short because of it and skipped right into day two.

Welfare to work to unemployed

Two years ago I attained a full time position As a head start teacher. I was kept very busy and was unable to attend to my mediocre blog. Well, the company has transitioned. It's being broken in to three different companies. Currently my coworkers and I are unemployed because of this transition. I am receiving edd. I have no health insurance. My last day for health insurance was 7.31.12. This is a topic for a different thread. My countdown, or rather, count up has started. How many days uninsured, how many days unemployed, how many days on unemployment insurance? The questions remain.