My cycle

I'm waiting for my cycle. It's supposed to start today. Tomorrow is good too. I've been thinking what if I'm pregnant. So this morning before I took my dependent to establishment I talked to my uterus/baby. I told my baby if (s)he was already there then that was ok. If (s)he decided to stay that was fine and we would do best our best by him/her. We loved him/her.  If (s)he decided to leave that was ok. We still loved him/her. I prayed to GOD for guidance. This issue has me teary-eyed. 

I'm 44 years old. If I'm pregnant I'm not ready. I need to get ready. I need to take prenatal pills again. I need to talk to my dr about pills that do not pass through the placenta to the baby. We want a healthy baby. 

I will make an appointment for next week if my period doesn't come. I recently had a menopause test. I'm still very fertile. Another test to verify if my estrogen level DROPPED probably won't be out if the question.