Thursday, March 3, 2016
Diagnosis: OCD and Anxiety
One day I may hold my dependent again. Until then I work to help D overcome OCD and anxiety.
OCD
My dependent is being evaluated for obsessive compulsive disorder. Too close to home right now. Our lives have been disrupted since Christmas vacation. The case is extreme and crosses over other issues.
More later.
Sunday, January 3, 2016
When it comes to anxiety I always tend to the Lord GOD to help calm me down. I do the same thing for mini me. Mini me had "bad luck" tonight and was hysterical. R found my one decade rosary and asked, "Do you believe? Do you still believe?" Mini me answered, "yes, I still believe." However mini me didn't recognize the decade rosary.
We prayed our top 3 prayers; Glory Be, Hail Mary, and Our Father. We said each prayer, in the order stated, twice. Then I started reading from her bible the story of creation. We read Genesis 1-5. Mini me is now completely calm.
Still, a professional will visit mini me at the institution. Mini me has emotional and nervous disorder. This holiday was crazy. Mini me went OCD! Hand washing, refusing to touch things, fear of germs. Why? No flu shot. Why no flu shot? Refusal to get in any vehicle!
Dear GOD. I'm sorry. I take full responsibility. Help us.
Friday, December 18, 2015
Job club
12.08.15 driving to job club 
I've finished job club. Now I wait to start the TSE program. I've ridden the bus to job club. I drove the car a few times. I've dressed up daily for job interviews. Through highs and lows I've prayed to GOD for His healing presence. I've documented my anxieties. Both have helped me through my anxieties. Many times when I had trouble crossings a major street I would call my family. I would talk to them while I got the nerve up to cross the street. 
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Started off well...ended badly!
1. Took care of business
2. Drove to destination
3. Drove to job club
4. Checked out of job club
5. Lost keys at job club
6. Doctors office giving me run around
7. Case manager busy
8. Director busy
9. Wrong Doctor! Not my reg Doctor. Substitute Doctor.
10. Doctor was there yesterday!
11. Case manager never looked at my file!
BULLSHIT! Two days without my medication for anxiety panic disorder. Negligence!
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
My most ANXUZ moment so far
Today I took it upon myself to a specific Christian denomination bookstore. It's in a town south of me. Go511 says no way to get there. Mapquest tells me it would take an hour to get there. My iPhone map tells me it's 12 minutes driving distance. Guess what I decided to do!? Because it had to be done quickly, I decided to drive to the gift shop. I did make it there, however, my anxiety was creeping up on me. It did not matter that I had take one dose (0.5mg) of Ativan before driving there. This was my second attempt. My first attempt, yesterday, I got half way there. Or rather, I got eight minutes closer to my target destination. Today I got all the way there, with anxiety, drinking water, and praying to GOD I wouldn't freak out.
I entered the store and interacted with the sales associate. In the end I told her I needed her prayers to help me get back home. I told her my situation with anxiety and that it was a miracle I got here. Now I need prayers to get back home.
I'm home now. I grounded myself by following along my gps both visual and audio. I also turned on "overdrive" app and listened to my favorite bible story.
Rabbit Ears has bible stories on audiobook. The story my library has available was Jonah and The Whale and Joseph and His Brothers. When I'm anxious and trying to calm down I listen to the story. Bible story is a calming influence on me.
It's after 7:00 PM now. I'm feeling much better now. Now to help my sibling.
But that's another entry, altogether...
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